by Robin Volker

Last Sunday, I began a two-part series on Happy New Year, Happy New You!  There are four points I will be covering in this short series.   First, it is time to care of ourselves, be courageous, don't settle for less than, and stay in integrity.  When we begin to think about taking care of ourselves, for some of us that proposition is quite daunting because we have been taught that others must always come first.  In truth, we have nothing to give others if we are depleted, resentful, and exhausted; so many of us have no idea where to place healthy boundaries when it comes to taking care of ourselves. 

You may have heard about the Granny Bank Robber.  This Granny, who is 68 years old and a retired bank teller, admitted she robbed banks in the Cincinnati area because she wanted to send money to her only son.  She didn't do it for herself.  She did it for her grown son who had previously received tens of thousands of dollars from her and her husband.  When the husband cut off the supply to the son, Granny felt the need to rob banks in order to keep supporting her son.  Now this is an extreme example, yet we are all guilty on different levels of sacrificing our integrity and truth for others.

One of the gifts I received from being involved in a 12-step group was to learn to differentiate between my needs and others wants, needs, or demands.  It takes constant reminding to not roll into that place of "I have to fix this."  Notice that even when you are in casual conversation, do you begin telling the other person what to do to fix their problem?  I love the saying, "I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; I can't control it." 

This week, is it possible to take a look at our interactions and ask ourselves, "Is this mine?  Or is this someone else's?"  The best way I have found to do this is to go within, to take time apart, and to go into the silence.   We look for our answers outside of ourselves when the answers we seek are always within.  We try to find our solutions with our rational minds instead of turning to Spirit.  Jesus commanded, "Follow me."  He set an example free of co-dependency and weak boundaries.   We do not find him manipulating others or over-extending himself.  When he needed to restore himself or to gain clarity, he went apart for a while to pray.  Would we make better decisions if we followed this example? 

This week, take time for you.  Take time to be aware of the relationships in your life.  Take time to restore your soul with quiet moments of prayer.  Take time to seek clarity about what is yours to do in a given situation.  Take time ---for you.