Rev. Robin Volker Rick and I had the wonderful privilege of having family in Ohio for Thanksgiving this year. Our daughter Meghan,
her husband Brian, and our two granddaughters, Claire and Camryn, were here for several days. What a joy that
was! Life had been busy at the Volker household this autumn, and there were many items on the home to-do
list that just didn't get done. Previously, this would have caused me great distress and tension that would have
been felt by others present. But this year, I took a deep breath, slowly released it, and let go.
Being fully present with Meghan and her family was much more important to me than worrying about this or that
household chore. As a result, we had a great time together – one of the best holidays ever!
Could letting go of expectations have had anything to do with that end result? Maybe. Expectations can derail
our best relationship intentions. During the holiday season, our already out-of-control expectations of others
and ourselves are compounded by shopping, decorating, and entertaining. Somehow, we think the perfect
holiday is happening in someone else's house and not our own. We tend to measure what's happening in our
lives with what we think should be happening. The gap between what is really happening and what we think
should be happening creates anxiety and stress, which we usually share with others, whether they want it or not.  Letting go is about gaining freedom. Once we let go, things in our lives begin to flow with ease and grace. For this
holiday season, give yourself the gift of tolerance for imperfection. Be gentle and slow to judge when things don't
turn out as you had planned. Give others compassion and space to be exactly who they really are. Let go of the
illusion that we can control life. And maybe, just maybe, amid the things left undone and the less than perfect
gravy, you will find a depth of joy at the true of heart of Christmas where you are able to experience more love and peace than ever before.
Happy holidays, Rev. Robin
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