Rev. Robin Volker

We often stand at a crossroads, debating with ourselves which way to go.  Some of these decisions are minor ones, like which route to take work today.  Some of these decisions have a more major impact on our lives, like which college to attend, to have a baby, to get married or divorced, to move to different city, to retire or change jobs.

Last Sunday, I made the statement, "God doesn't care."  That was not a misstatement.  That is my understanding of God.   Let me explain further.  The creative intelligence that created us does not care which road we take to work today, which school we attend, who we marry, or where we live or work.

This understanding of Creator became very real to me in 2003 when my husband Rick received a job transfer from Atlanta to Houston.  Because of circumstances in his life at the time, particularly the commitment to give financial support to his college-bound children, he chose to accept the transfer.  I, on the other hand, did not want to leave Atlanta where I was deeply connected to friends, family, and rewarding work. 

For several months I stood at the crossroads, craning my neck in a spiritual sense to see down each path in an effort to discern what I should do:  stay in Atlanta with the life I knew and loved, or follow the man I loved into an unknown world?

This was a huge question for me, and it caused me many sleepless nights.   Rick left for Houston at the beginning of March.   I stood at the crossroads, angry at having to decide such a choice until the end of May.   I was angry at Rick, angry at his company, and angry at God.  I looked down each path with great analyses, trying to foresee the outcome.  Where was God when I need God?  Which way to go?  "God show me!" I begged. 

After much prayer, journaling, and professional and spiritual counseling, I came to understand that God is always with me and that meant God was with me at the crossroads.  No matter how hard I looked, I could not see the future down either branch in the fork in the road.  God was not standing at the end of either path, waving a flag, calling out to me, "Come this way, Robin!"  God was, indeed, standing with me, in me, as me in each anxious moment of indecision. 

As the loud screams of my angry ego subsided, I began to feel the gentle nudges toward spiritual discernment that came with quiet intuition.  This was Spirit within me, raising my thoughts to a higher, happier, better feeling vibration.  My answer was coming.  But it was not coming from outside of me.  It was coming through me, through my own ability to be still and know that God in me was with me in each moment of surety and each moment of fear. 

God is not a force outside of us that manipulates our lives like pieces on a chess board.  God is the Divine Creative Energy that formed each of us as an ever-expanding universal consciousness that is actually expanding within God Itself.  There is no separation.   We and God are one, as Jesus taught, "I and the Father are one."   And this Creative Life Force is neutral and without prejudice.  As humans, we have evolved to the state of consciousness where we are aware of this Creative Life Force, and we have been given the power and freedom to direct this ever-expanding energy as we see fit. We cannot mess it up.  We cannot get it wrong.  We have only to experience this life to our fullest intent. Therefore, there is no right or wrong path, and God doesn't care which one we choose because life – creation - existence is about expanding consciousness, and consciousness expands no matter what we personally decide.

Next week, I will write about my understanding of the divine plan for our lives.  Until then, know that at whatever crossroads you may stand today, God is with you in the question; God is with you in the decision; and God will be with you every step of the way – whatever path you may choose for you can never be separated from the Life Force that created you.

Namaste`

Rev. Robin